» Přečtěte si více: 中国当代浮世绘 - 县城小宾馆
Fresh from my shower, I stand in front of the mirror complaining to my husband that my breasts are too small. Instead of characteristically telling me it’s not so, he uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion.
‘If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between them for a few seconds.’
Willing to try anything, I fetch a piece of toilet paper and stand in front of the mirror, rubbing it between my breasts. ‘How long will this take?’ I asked.
‘They will grow larger over a period of years,’ my husband replies.
Já stopped. ‘Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts every day will make my breasts larger over the years?’
Without missing a beat he says, ‘Worked for your ass, didn’t it?’
Stupid, stupid man.
[youtube = http://www.youtube.com / watch?v=SftUYBXiVS4]
A fire alarm rang at 4 PM when almost all shift employees are in office (approx 5000). As usual entire office was evacuated within 3 minutes & every employee gathered outside office.
10 mins passed ………………………………….
5 more mins passed …………………………….
5 more mins passed …………………………….
Then a Security Officer started an annoucement: “Dear Employees – With melting heart I’m making this announcement that for many of you will be a last evacuation drill. Due to the recession we are laying off almost 50% of employees. While moving in if your ID card does not work, then you are among those laid off & all your belongings will be couriered to you tomorrow.
We have followed this approach as we didn’t want to fill email box with layoff mails and good bye mails in thousands & also to avoid any fight inside office.
Hope you have nice career ahead. Please move in & try you luck”.
Les Miserables – I Dreamed a Dream
I dreamed a dream in time gone by
When hope was high
And life worth living
I dreamed that love would never die
I dreamed that God would be forgiving
Then I was young and unafraid
And dreams were made and used and wasted
There was no ransom to be paid
No song unsung, no wine untasted
But the tigers come at night
With their voices soft as thunder
As they tear your hope apart
And they turn your dream to shame
And still I dream he’ll come to me
That we will live the years together
But there are dreams that cannot be
And there are storms we cannot weather
I had a dream my life would be
So different from this hell I’m living
So different now from what it seemed
Now life has killed the dream I dreamed.