Archive for September, 2009

Something To Offend Everyone

September 24th, 2009

What is a Yankee?
The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.

What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
The position of the dirt bag.

Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it’s worth it.

What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.

What do lawyers use for birth control?
Their personalities.

What’s the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
40 kgs.

What’s the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
45 minutes.

What’s the fastest way to a man’s heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife.

» Read more: Something To Offend Everyone

Fondling In Bed

September 24th, 2009


After 20 years of marriage, a couple was lying in bed one evening when the wife felt her husband begin to fondle her in ways he hadn’t in quite some time.

It almost tickled as his fingers started at her neck, and then moving down past the small of her back.

He then caressed her shoulders and neck, slowly working his hand down over her breasts, stopping just over her lovers’ stomach.

He then proceeded to place his hand on her left inner arm, carressing past the side of her breast again, working down her side, passing gently over her buttock and down her leg to her calf. Then he proceeded up her inner thigh stopping just at the uppermost portion of her leg. He continued in the same manner on her right side, then suddenly stopped, rolled over and started to watch the TV.

As she had become quite aroused by this caressing, she asked in a loving voice, “That was wonderful, why did you stop?”

He said, “I found the remote.”

Performance Art by Liu Bolin – Invisible man

September 22nd, 2009












Wouldn’t you love to do this to some people

September 17th, 2009

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AUPtejV5-ZM]

很黄很暴力,很傻很天真 – 2009 id 大型评比以及解说

September 15th, 2009
  • 最具耐心奖: 爬上墙头等红杏
  • 最疯狂奖: 骑牛撞交警
  • 最有权利奖: WCCEO (厕所首席)
  • 最有学问奖: 阏!! “郁闷(於门)”
  • 最佳整蛊奖: 猪是的念来过倒
  • 最自夸奖: 帅的惊动党中央
  • 最不合逻辑奖: 非洲小白脸
  • 最过目难忘奖: 我一贱你就笑   
  • 最佳组合奖: 化腐朽为绵掌   
  • 最自私奖: 请偷我对门
  • 最有自知之明奖: 今夜酷寒不宜裸奔   
  • 最具名人效应奖: 怕瓦落地   
  • 最骄傲奖: 一年硬两次一次硬半年
  • 最委屈奖: 他们逼我做卧底   
  • 最实话实说奖: 小泉,纯一狼
  • 最自不量力奖: 贫僧夜探青楼  
  • 最有雄心壮志的奖: 我要一桶浆糊 (一统江湖)   
  • 最具黑道风范奖: 手起刀落人抬走   
  • 最有自知之明奖: 丑的拖网速  
  • 最没有风度奖: 输了就掀桌子  
  • 最不会享受生活奖: 打的去埃及   
  • 最调侃奖: 用你的左眼猛击我的右拳
  • 最经典奖: 本人已死,有事烧纸   
  • 最有个性奖: 妈驴脸猛鹿(玛丽莲.梦露)   
  • 最掉胃口奖: 嘿,单炒饭最怕死(屎)
  • 最牛X奖: 两母牛盘腿对坐   
  • 最废话奖: 月,经常来。
  • 最不可思议奖: 卖女孩的小火柴   
  • 最是~奖: 队长别开枪  
  • 最有诗意奖: 缘来如此   
  • 最有计谋奖: 三十六计,西游计   
  • 最佳篡改奖: 塞翁失身,焉知非福   
  • 最佳泡妞奖: 善解人衣  
  • 最坏人奖: 男生进女厕,心情多快乐  
  • 最流氓奖: 少年不流氓,发育不正常   
  • 最坦白奖: 我这个人有志气,还有脚气。   
  • 最可怜爱情奖: 暗恋未遂   
  • 最狠赌博奖: 四裤全输   
  • 最发烧奖: 见男春(剑南春)

最具耐心奖: 爬上墙头等红杏
【得奖评语】 见过守株待兔的,但爬上墙头等别人“红杏出墙”的倒是第一次见。 

最谦虚奖: 一般一般全国第三 
【得奖评语】 没有自称全国第一确实难得,但我们想知道他这个“第三”是根据什么标准得的? 

最腻心奖: 一脸的美人痣!
【得奖评语】 想知道“宁缺毋滥”什么意思,看看她的脸就知道了。

最有学问奖: 阏!! 
【得奖评语】 经调查全国75%的网友不明白这个字的意思,其实是“郁闷(于门)”之意,因此该网名获“最有学问奖”实至名归。

最佳整蛊奖: 驴是的念来过倒 
【得奖评语】 看过的100%会中招,没有不倒过来念的。

最自夸奖: 帅得惊动党中央 
【得奖评语】 真的是吹牛不上税,但吹牛吹得这么有创意倒也难得,同时获奖的还有“毛主席夸我帅”。 

最不合逻辑奖: 非洲小白脸 
【得奖评语】 非常遗憾他没有来到现场领奖,我们非常想看看非洲的小白脸怎样白!  

» Read more: 很黄很暴力,很傻很天真 – 2009 id 大型评比以及解说

Yoga for men

September 10th, 2009

Yoga for Men http://d1.scribdassets.com/ScribdViewer.swf?document_id=19598880&access_key=key-2cm51e6idzbdirc626fj&page=1&version=1&viewMode=

水调歌头 – 重上井冈山

September 7th, 2009
毛泽东(1965年5月)

久有凌云志,重上井冈山。
千里来寻故地,旧貌变新颜。
到处莺歌燕舞,更有潺潺流水,高路入云端。
过了黄洋界,险处不须看。

风雷动,旌旗奋,是人寰。
三十八年过去,弹指一挥间。
可上九天揽月,可下五洋捉鳖,谈笑凯歌还。
世上无难事,只要肯登攀。

教室铭

September 4th, 2009

分不在高,及格就行;学不在深,作弊则灵。斯是教室,唯吾闲情。小说翻得快,杂志翻得勤。琢磨下围棋,寻思看电影。可以打瞌睡,想女友,无书声之乱耳,无复习之劳形。是非跳舞场,堪比游乐厅。心理云:”混帐文凭!”

附刘禹锡《陋室铭》

山不在高,有仙则名。水不在深,有龙则灵。斯是陋室,惟吾德馨。苔痕上阶绿,草色入帘青。谈笑有鸿儒,往来无白丁。可以调素琴,阅金经。无丝竹之乱耳,无案牍之劳形。南阳诸葛庐,西蜀子云亭。孔子云:“何陋之有?”